Veg. Jokes

Who is Mightiest of all Animals?


A lion woke up one morning feeling rowdy. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"

The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion!

Later, the lion confronts a deer and bellows, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"

The terrified deer stammers, "Oh great lion, you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle!"

On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, "Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"

Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times, the lion is feeling like it'd been run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then stomped on the lion till it looked like a corn tortilla, then crapped on it, and ambled away.

The lion hollered after the elephant, "Damn, just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so pissedd off !"


Being Late



Two deaf men were talking on their coffee break about being out late the night before.

The first man signed to his friend, "My wife was asleep when I got home, so I was able to sneak into bed, and not get into trouble."

The second deaf man signed back, "Boy, you're lucky. My wife was wide awake, waiting for me in bed, and she started swearing at me and giving me heck for being out so late."

The first deaf man asked, "So, what did you do?"

The second deaf man signed, "I turned out the light!"



Organic Vegetables

A wife goes to the local market to buy some organic vegetables for her husbands. She came back rather upset.

When her husband asked her what was wrong, she said, "I don't think I like that produce guy. I went and looked around for organic vegetables and I couldn't find any. So I asked him, 'Where the organic Vegetables were?' He didn't know what I was talking about so I said, 'These vegetables are for my husbands. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?

And he said, 'No, ma'am. You'll have to do that yourself'."

Memorial Service


One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.

The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning Alex."

"Good morning pastor," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque.

"Pastor McGhee, what is this?" Alex asked.

"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."

Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.

Little Alex's voice was barely audible when he asked, "Which service... the morning or the evening?"



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